I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
