is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
