just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Are we in a gay sports bar?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Dicks are not precious.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize