The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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