Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
