You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
