You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
