To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
