I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You pole danced in your parka.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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