Porn is love you can see.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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