sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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