Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
