I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
