With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
