i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
