I puked a lego.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
