He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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