I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You made out with two different species that night
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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