Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
