life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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