well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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