I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
