come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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