At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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