I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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