Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
