remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
