they need to just BURY HIM!
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
