Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
