how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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