Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize