apparently the secret to your success is patron
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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