Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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