called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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