I'm lost and stupid without you.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
