why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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