Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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