I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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