I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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