i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
