I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize