But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
