I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
