Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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