One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
