I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
