dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
