He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
