Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
