Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
a search helicopter?!
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
