My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Oh god it's open bar.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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