But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize