it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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