i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
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