it was like his penis was on wheels.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
