So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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