Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I need help removing her.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Randomize
