did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
