got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
