I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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