Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
