I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
