Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
