The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
