I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
