Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
