He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize