This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
