i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
