Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We're too hungover to prance.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
